I was tweeting yesterday about how Shots were the only thing that kept my insecurities at bay and someone told me that self consciousness stems out of insecurity.
But the question is are we not all self conscious. Is there anyone in this world who is not insecure and self conscious?
Is striving to remain a secure person not a sign of insecurity and why is it that people look down at insecure people to which my ex on twitter replies saying "just for the feel good factor I guess" and I feel that is right on.
Show me one person in this world who is not insecure. You feel secure in a group of people who are terribly insecure of themselves and that makes you feel special and secure. You go meet another set of people and insecurity just seeps in.
Is it bad to feel insecure? Is being insecure make you a weak person and people oh so look down upon self proclaimed insecure and weak people.
I have been a very insecure person all my lifeand it feels weird to admit here on the blog that I still am. I was always the nerdy looking girl who had lots of friends but no boy friends what so ever. I still remember back in my school days there was a time when I used to pray to God to make me pretty and noticeable and make me boy friends. I was a good at academics and culturally inclined but who bothers. All someone looks at is how you look. If you are pretty, you have the highest probability of having a boy friend and nothing else matters. Every school has this group of really pretty girls who people like me feel "have it all". I always was aware that I need to do something about this insecure feeling that keeps gnawing at me and to feel good about myself I always used to think at the back of my mind that the only thing these girls have are good looks, good looks and good looks. I have my score sheet, marks cards with me and that once I get a job and earn I can change the way I look and become as pretty as they are. This thought kept me going but then I now realize how shallow I was. It was always a question of looking good and having boy friends and being popular. When you have none of these, you inevitably try to put in your energy in academics and the outcome is always a good score card which honestly never helps in the long run if you are from the Indian style run education system where its only theory that matters and nothing else.
Even in the academics side, I was never a brainiac. I was a very average brained girl who was good at theory and could score but even there I faced stiff competition. My rival, another girl who had a fantastic handwriting, always won at debates and always had a better score card that I did. There were many brainiac guys in my school too but my competition was with this gurl because I wanted to compete with someone from the same sex. The brainiac guys were always so out of my league and I knew I could never compete with them. So I rivalled with someone who had the same average brains that I had but again she was so much better than me. With her, the only consoling thought I had at the back of my mind was my dad was her dad's boss and that I was so much better than her.
Looking back at all this, I feel that I was such a shallow, terrible person but it sets me thinking if all of us are the same. All of us try to feel good about ourselves thinking about the bad things in others.
If we stop feeling good about ourselves, will there be any driving force/confidence which will help us move forward in life and try being a better person.
More than 10 years have passed since I passed high school but I still think things at the back of my end when meeting people for the feel good factor. Is it really so bad to think the way I do about other people just because I want to feel good about myself? Is it only me or so others do too?
Does looks matter so much to all of us? The days I wear torn jeans and hoodie makes me not so feel good and conscious and insecure while the days when I wear a dress or a skirt and have my hair all straightened and silky and falling on my face strutting in high heels or boots makes me feel I am the queen of the world and feel so good about myself and everything around me.
Is it just something in my head which makes me feel that I get stranger snubs when I am all jeans and hoodie while there are hordes of stranger stares and smiles when I am all decked up. Someone just told me that feeling good about yourselves soars your confidence to a totally new high and you feel everything around you to be amazing and happy and good, kind to you.
So does just looking good makes your confidence soar? Are looks so freakishly damn important and why oh why is a stranger stare or smile so important in making my good day the very best day.
Is it only me and my shallowness or are there others who are in their late twenties who think the same way I do and who haven't been come out of their high school mind phase. Is the "looking good and being popular in high school" bug still stuck to our skin. How do I rinse it off or do I still need to wait a few years for it to wear off???!!!
But the question is are we not all self conscious. Is there anyone in this world who is not insecure and self conscious?
Is striving to remain a secure person not a sign of insecurity and why is it that people look down at insecure people to which my ex on twitter replies saying "just for the feel good factor I guess" and I feel that is right on.
Show me one person in this world who is not insecure. You feel secure in a group of people who are terribly insecure of themselves and that makes you feel special and secure. You go meet another set of people and insecurity just seeps in.
Is it bad to feel insecure? Is being insecure make you a weak person and people oh so look down upon self proclaimed insecure and weak people.
I have been a very insecure person all my lifeand it feels weird to admit here on the blog that I still am. I was always the nerdy looking girl who had lots of friends but no boy friends what so ever. I still remember back in my school days there was a time when I used to pray to God to make me pretty and noticeable and make me boy friends. I was a good at academics and culturally inclined but who bothers. All someone looks at is how you look. If you are pretty, you have the highest probability of having a boy friend and nothing else matters. Every school has this group of really pretty girls who people like me feel "have it all". I always was aware that I need to do something about this insecure feeling that keeps gnawing at me and to feel good about myself I always used to think at the back of my mind that the only thing these girls have are good looks, good looks and good looks. I have my score sheet, marks cards with me and that once I get a job and earn I can change the way I look and become as pretty as they are. This thought kept me going but then I now realize how shallow I was. It was always a question of looking good and having boy friends and being popular. When you have none of these, you inevitably try to put in your energy in academics and the outcome is always a good score card which honestly never helps in the long run if you are from the Indian style run education system where its only theory that matters and nothing else.
Even in the academics side, I was never a brainiac. I was a very average brained girl who was good at theory and could score but even there I faced stiff competition. My rival, another girl who had a fantastic handwriting, always won at debates and always had a better score card that I did. There were many brainiac guys in my school too but my competition was with this gurl because I wanted to compete with someone from the same sex. The brainiac guys were always so out of my league and I knew I could never compete with them. So I rivalled with someone who had the same average brains that I had but again she was so much better than me. With her, the only consoling thought I had at the back of my mind was my dad was her dad's boss and that I was so much better than her.
Looking back at all this, I feel that I was such a shallow, terrible person but it sets me thinking if all of us are the same. All of us try to feel good about ourselves thinking about the bad things in others.
If we stop feeling good about ourselves, will there be any driving force/confidence which will help us move forward in life and try being a better person.
More than 10 years have passed since I passed high school but I still think things at the back of my end when meeting people for the feel good factor. Is it really so bad to think the way I do about other people just because I want to feel good about myself? Is it only me or so others do too?
Does looks matter so much to all of us? The days I wear torn jeans and hoodie makes me not so feel good and conscious and insecure while the days when I wear a dress or a skirt and have my hair all straightened and silky and falling on my face strutting in high heels or boots makes me feel I am the queen of the world and feel so good about myself and everything around me.
Is it just something in my head which makes me feel that I get stranger snubs when I am all jeans and hoodie while there are hordes of stranger stares and smiles when I am all decked up. Someone just told me that feeling good about yourselves soars your confidence to a totally new high and you feel everything around you to be amazing and happy and good, kind to you.
So does just looking good makes your confidence soar? Are looks so freakishly damn important and why oh why is a stranger stare or smile so important in making my good day the very best day.
Is it only me and my shallowness or are there others who are in their late twenties who think the same way I do and who haven't been come out of their high school mind phase. Is the "looking good and being popular in high school" bug still stuck to our skin. How do I rinse it off or do I still need to wait a few years for it to wear off???!!!
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